How I Communicate: Through the Eyes of Others

How I evaluated myself and how others evaluated me, when it comes to communication, verbal aggressiveness, and listening skills, were similar and different. We all concluded that my verbal aggressiveness was moderate. I was surprised to see that I evaluated myself as people-oriented when it came to listening skills because I would have thought that I’d be time-oriented. Sadly, it perturbs me when someone goes on and on about one thing and doesn’t get to the point. I find myself zoning out and thinking about other things when people do this in conversations with me. If I know the person enough, I’ll cue them to get to the point, but if I don’t know them that well I try to help them with their story.

The other result that surprised me is that others viewed me as being calm when I talk in front of others. My friend even said that he thought I enjoyed talking in front of people, when in fact I hate it. I get entirely too nervous. My heart beats faster, I start to sweat, and I worry about what I am saying so much that I feel that I talk 100 mph! However, others think I speak significantly well in front of others. I must cover my nervousness up pretty well!

Communication with Culture

 

When I think of my friends, colleagues, and family, I do communicate differently with them all. I communicate with each one of them differently because I know them and they know me differently. For instance, I am most comfortable around my family members because they have known me and I have been around them ever since I was born. Some of my colleagues I just met this year, so I am more reserved around them, at least until I get to know them more on a personal level. When I am around my friends, we talk about things that I don’t talk about with my family or my colleagues. After reading all of the learning resources throughout this course, I have come to realize at least three strategies that help me communicate effectively.

                (1) Always remember the context that you are in. Context where we are and who we are around in any given situation. When we think of context, we should think of in a few different aspects such as language, relational, situational, and cultural (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012). For instance, I wouldn’t talk about a party I went to with my grandma because we don’t have that type of relationship or I wouldn’t be discussing plans for my wedding at a funeral because it wouldn’t be the correct situation to discuss that in.

                (2) Have the ability to take on different perspectives. No one wants to communicate with someone who only sees their own view on issues. When communicating with someone, look at things from their side of the conversation. Everything doesn’t always have to be about you. In other words, be other-oriented, focus on others other than yourself (Beebe & Redmond, 2011).

                (3) Be mindful of whoever you are talking to (Beebe & Redmond, 2011). In doing this, I am aware of what I am doing, thinking, and what I am sensing from others. I make some kind of connection this way. For instance, sensing that someone doesn’t like politics gives me insight to not discuss those types of matters unless absolutely required.

Resources

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's

Communicating with Television

I chose to watch the show “The X Factor”. This is a show that judges contestants on their singing abilities. I don’t ever watch this show but decided to because I wanted to check it out due to the new judges Britney Spears and another female which I don’t know her name, but I’m sure she is famous. Television has made such a huge deal out of the new judges. I have no clue who were the judges during last year’s show. Anyways, I only recorded about 30 minutes of the show because it was on for about 2 hours one night. While watching a 30 minute portion with the sound off, I had to solely rely on my ability to read facial expressions and bodily functions. I have never been a good lip reader so I gave up on that skill fairly quickly. I was only able to tell if the judges really liked someone. If they did, they were smiling, stood up and clapped, or had an expression of awe on their faces. When they didn’t like someone, they shared looks of disgust or were laughing. With the sound turned on, I was quickly able to determine what was going on because I could hear the contestants singing. I was able to tell if they were talented or not because I could hear them. It was very difficult if any of the contestants cried to determine if it was a good cry or a bad cry with the sound off, but with the sound on I determined it rather quickly.

Competent Communication

I chose to discuss the effective communication skills of one of my friends. This friend is also a teacher. She communicates different with me on a personal level than she does with her students and families on a professional level. With me she jokes around and can honestly be herself, without me judging her. With her families and students she communicates differently. She is extremely caring and makes her students feel like she is truly there for them inside and outside of school. With the families that she communicates with, she explains to them to the best of her ability what goes on in her classroom and answers their questions when she can. If she doesn’t know the answer to something, she simply finds it through someone else. She isn’t afraid to admit when she needs help with something. I would like to model some of my communication behaviors after her because she does it so well. She has quite a few more years of experience on me. I feel that now days, some teachers feel like they have to have to answers to everything. Don’t be afraid to admit when you are stumped about something. It happened to me just this past week. I am in a new district this year and am having a behavioral issue with a child in my class. I have tried different strategies to assist him but it seems like nothing is working. I went to my principal and simply asked for help. She is now going to give me a book that she has on behavioral strategies.